Showing Favoritism

Group leaders are human. Therefore, it’s normal for them to find they like some group members more than others. That’s nice, however, the people they like probably paid the same as everyone else — which means that all group members are equally deserving of the group leader’s attention.

This is particularly egregious when a male group leader seems to focus most of his attention on the more attractive women in the group. To start with, this attention is often unwanted — and it makes other group members feel shortchanged.

It gets worse if the object of the group leader’s attention is married or in a committed relationship — or if the group leader is supposed to be in such a relationship himself.

In the mid-1970s, a friend was leading a group from our store on a trip to the Bahamas. I wasn’t there, so I was spared the gory details; however, it seems that, mid-trip, my friend decided to break up with his girlfriend and take up with another female group member. Apparently, it was anything other than an amicable break up — and all of this happened right in front of the other group members.

Obviously, the trip was no fun for the ex-girlfriend (who’d paid to be there), nor was it much fun for other group members, who were counting on the group leader to show them a good time, and not be consumed by an ongoing soap opera.

Taking along personal “baggage” »

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